Women and gents, the effects are in — and I am overjoyed to file that LG has formally revolutionized Android upgrades as we all know them.
Grasp on — lemme explain: Through “revolutionized Android upgrades,” I imply that the corporate has introduced a brand new point of laughable absurdity to an already absurd space.
It is now been simply over a yr, y’see, since LG made a gigantic display of showing its “International Tool Improve Middle” — the ‘s “first such facility aimed toward offering shoppers international with sooner, timelier smartphone running machine and device updates,” as the corporate put it in a moderately worded press free up designed to solicit sure consideration with out requiring any actual motion.
“Aligning after-sales make stronger with shoppers’ wishes is a peak precedence at LG,” the corporate’s CEO was once quoted as announcing. “Strong and constant upgrades will show to our shoppers that LG smartphones have lengthy and dependable lifespans.”
“Additionally, that is reverse day — and the whole thing I am announcing is obviously no longer what we intend to do,” he it appears forgot so as to add while cackling with gleeful abandon.
Glance, the truth that LG was once feeding us a host of shameless hooey must be sudden to roughly no person. A definite extremely good-looking Android-focused columnist (who shall stay unnamed, as he’s additionally extremely humble) referred to as out the nonsensical-seeming nature of the corporate’s phrases moments when they have been uttered closing April — and once we revisited the topic closing November, the prophecy was once protecting true as may well be.
Now, right here we’re, a complete yr after the release of the industry-changing “Tool Improve Middle” (a time period that, for the document, must all the time be spoken with closely sarcastic air-quotes round it), and the place do issues stand? Smartly, let’s examine — lemme crunch a pair numbers, carry out a couple of advanced calculations, feed some stacks of detailed information into my Complex Garbage Detection System™…
Ah, proper — right here we cross: Within the 371 days because the release of LG’s “Tool Improve Middle,” LG has completed exactly jack squat on the subject of offering its shoppers with even remotely affordable Android device make stronger.
Here is what the corporate has achieved:
- 40 days after pronouncing its “Tool Improve Middle” closing April, LG delivered its first Android eight.zero Oreo improve within the U.S. — to its then-current flagship, the G6, on Verizon. That implies the highest-priority shoppers won stated device over 9 months after its free up. Huzzah!
- Homeowners of the corporate’s then-previous-gen flagship, the G5, then waited every other half-year from that time to peer Oreo arrive on their telephones. The primary U.S. G5 Oreo improve confirmed up in overdue September — a ludicrous 13 months after Oreo’s free up and a month and a 1/2 after the more moderen Android nine Pie device had change into to be had. Impressive!
- Ultimate October, 74 days after Pie’s release, LG launched the V40 — a tool increasingly more being situated as a secondary, change flagship to the primary G-branded product line. The V40 shipped with the old-fashioned Android eight.1 Oreo device, accompanied via a imprecise promise for a Pie improve someday “quickly.” It has now been six months since that telephone’s U.S. free up, and we have now observed no indicators of Pie or explanations for its ongoing absence. Dynamite!
We are now 255 days previous Pie’s free up, in truth — a whopping eight-and-a-half months — and LG has but to supply a unmarried forkin’ Pie improve to any of its Android gadgets (except an Android One style, which does not run LG device, is a part of a contract-based settlement with Google that calls for rather well timed upgrades and contains some point of the aid of Google to verify the ones occur, and is anything else however a normal “LG telephone”). Best-notch!
I imply, c’mon: Is there any doubt final that the “Tool Improve Middle” was once an empty exposure stunt and a slap within the face to any person who, for causes I will’t fully comprehend, continues to buy LG Android gadgets?
This, my buddies, is what LG is: an organization that doesn’t give the tiniest shred of care about its shoppers as soon as that preliminary telephone cost has been forked over and an organization that loves to tug laughable advertising and marketing maneuvers with out a significant substance at the back of ’em. That is a ways from the primary time it is tried to trick unsuspecting media retailers into giving it unwarranted sure exposure within the space of Android upgrades, and it is a ways late for all folks to prevent falling for such shenanigans and to begin calling LG out no longer for its phrases however for its movements — which, each in the case of the grand and empty gestures and the post-sales make stronger disasters, are remarkably constant.
(And sure, for the zillionth time: Android upgrades completely do subject — particularly for trade customers — whether or not you care in regards to the surface-level options and interface adjustments or no longer.)
However hi there, at the plus facet, we have now gotta give credit score the place credit score’s due: In the case of over-the-top advertising and marketing stunts that deliver insulting new lows to the world of Android upgrades, LG is maximum without a doubt in a league of its personal. Cross, workforce!
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[Android Intelligence videos at Computerworld]