This week’s contest was once urged by way of amateur Loser Invoice Bouyer: Create a brief record for a present or previous TV display that has a coronavirus tale line, or one reflecting any other factor within the information at the moment, as in Invoice’s personal examples above. The latter would most probably be funnier in a vintage collection than a present one. A suave identify for the brand new episode is an possibility, too. Don’t give a protracted synopsis of the tale, only a line or two as above.
Publish as much as 25 entries at wapo.st/enter-invite-1403 (no capitals within the Internet deal with). Closing date is Monday, Oct. five; effects will seem Oct. 25 in print, Oct. 22 on-line.
Winner will get the Lose Cannon, our Taste Invitational trophy. 2nd position receives some other in our collection of Ridiculous Bordering on Horrifying Face Mask.
BRAND-NEW PODCAST! In Episode four of You’re Invited, host Mike Gips interviews Duncan Stevens, the Loser who’s been inking up the joint like no different. Listen it at bit.ly/invite-podcast. (Episodes will seem per 30 days after this one.)
The Taste Conversational: The Empress’s weekly on-line column discusses every new contest and set of effects. See this week’s at wapo.st/conv1403.
The fibbin’ is straightforward: Summer season fictoids from Week 1399
In our ongoing marketing campaign of Lies for All Seasons, we requested in Week 1399 for unfaithful minutiae about summer season, or issues that occur/have took place in the summertime.
Mockingly, within the Midwest, Popsicles are referred to as Softdrinksicles. (Artwork Grinath, Takoma Park, Md.)
3 days after the 2020 Republican Nationwide Conference, Amazon introduced that Kimberly Guilfoyle will be the voice of its new Alexa for Seniors. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.)
and the ‘power stick’ science toy:
A quadruple rainbow seemed within the sky over the Queens medical institution the place Donald Trump was once born on June 14, 1946. — M. Pence, Washington (Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)
And the winner of the Lose Cannon:
Nearly all “cotton sweet” in the USA is now product of polyester. (Jeff Rackow, Bethesda, Md.)
Dim summers: Honorable mentions
Each and every summer season a normal American consumes a tablespoon of human blood by way of swallowing inhaled mosquitoes. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
San Francisco’s 1967 Summer season of Love exceeded all expectancies, proving way more common than the 1966 Summer season of I Like You however Simplest as a Good friend. (Frank Mann, Washington)
The deliberate Summer season of Haight in San Francisco was once a dud till the development were given new promoters. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
“Zucchini” is Italian for “approach an excessive amount of.” (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Va.)
1946 noticed now not handiest the naming of the bikini, impressed by way of the Pacific atoll, however the thong, impressed by way of the little-known Daffy Duck model of “Music of the South.” (Noah Meyerson, Washington)
Consistent with 1960 Census Bureau knowledge for Surf Town, Calif., there have been 1.21 ladies for each boy. (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.)
After Exertions Day, antifa stops hurling chilled summer season soups like gazpacho and cucumber bisque, and switches to baggage of hearty autumnal fare like break up pea and butternut squash. (Frank Osen)
The 2021 listing of Atlantic typhoon names comprises “Sharpie.” (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
Even if we all know about Jimi Hendrix’s iconic “Celebrity-Spangled Banner” from Woodstock on Aug. 18, 1969, few take into account his request that the target audience sign up for him in a while in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
BBQ stands for “badly burned quadruped.” (Beverley Sharp, Sir Bernard Law, Ala.)
On the 1992 The town Picnic in Chernobyl, Ukraine, the three-legged race was once gained for the primary time by way of a unmarried individual. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.)
Lightning insects by no means land in the similar position two times. (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)
Coronavirus instances in France dropped by way of 80 % in August 2020 because the virus, following nationwide customized, refused to do any paintings all through that month. (Mark Raffman)
Donald Trump’s sister alleges that once he became 50 on June 14, 1996, he paid a person named Joe Shapiro to take his colonoscopy for him. (Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Conn.)
In Siberia, summer season is referred to as perezimovat′, or “month between wintry weather.” (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
All over summers in Victorian-era opera properties, admirers of a few divas would vie to stay them cool offstage by way of waving peacock plumes above them as they reclined at the sofa. That is the foundation of the word “I’m your greatest fan.” (David Kleinbard, Mamaroneck, N.Y.)
The Inuit now have 38 tactics to mention, “Scorching sufficient for ya?” (Frank Osen)
Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower modified his unique plans for a D-Day invasion within the South of France, fearing that his infantrymen could be distracted by way of topless beachgoers. (Ryan Martinez, Takoma Park, Md.)
Marco Polo was once deathly petrified of the water. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.)
From June 1 thru Sept. 15, the EPA mandates that Amish electorate alter their buggy horse feed to “summer season mix,” containing 1.five % much less hay. (Invoice Dorner, Indianapolis)
In maximum coastal states, in case your sand fort lasts on a seashore greater than 4 days, you start to achieve legally binding rights to the land beneath the fort. (David Kleinbard)
On July four, 1982, the All England Membership modified the identify of Wimbledon’s “Gents’s Championship” to “Males’s Championship” when John McEnroe performed Jimmy Connors within the ultimate. (Mark Raffman)
It’s unlawful in 16 states to burn a calendar that marks Flag Day. (Duncan Stevens)
In water polo, avid gamers eat huge amounts of beans simply ahead of a fit to reinforce buoyancy. (Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.)
Even though the speculation was once first posited within the past due 1950s, it was once now not till August 2020 that scientists established definitively that there ain’t no treatment for the summertime blues. (Lee Graham, Rockville, Md.)
Maximum praying mantises discovered within the United States are Presbyterian. (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Md.)
On Aug. 6, 1965, despite the fact that he discovered he may just by no means do as a lot for disenfranchised other folks of colour because the Trump circle of relatives would, President Johnson nonetheless signed the Balloting Rights Act into legislation. (Kevin Dopart)
On the urging of the White Space, thermometer producers have introduced plans to make out of doors fashions that prime out at 89 levels. (Frank Osen)
Sharks will assault provided that you’ve eaten within the ultimate hour. (Noah Meyerson)
Retailer-bought tomatoes style like Styrofoam as a result of they’re injected with it to stay their form. (Terri Berg Smith, Rockville, Md.)
The Declaration of Independence was once signed on July four, 1776, as a result of who needs to sit down outdoor within the wintry weather to observe fireworks? (Edmund Conti, Raleigh)
The canine days of August are referred to as that as a result of we all know that’s when the DEMOCRAT celebration kills canines and feeds the beef to their kid intercourse slaves! — John Barron, Washington (Roy Ashley, Washington)
Nonetheless working — cut-off date Tuesday evening, Sept. 29: Our contest for brand new phrases whose letters upload to 14 issues in Scrabble. See wapo.st/invite1402.
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